Many times before, I had all the chances to serve from morning till evening but I taken those chances for granted, especially the morning worship service.
I had all the freedom to serve early in the morning but still chose the convenience of waking up late to attend the youth and evening services. Perhaps that’s the reason why Sunday was robbed from me specifically the afternoon part. I dearly hold on to those services and gave more importance to it than morning. I was wrong. I was wrong to prioritize my convenience instead of doing a little sacrifice of waking up early. Until all that’s left for me is the morning worship service.
Perhaps it’s a training. A training to treasure the part of Sunday that I didn’t like that much. Perhaps it’s a realization that I used to have all the chances to cherish all the services but chose not to because I wanted to sleep more and because of other petty excuses.
I should’ve taken all the time I had to cherish everything but I guess even if I did that, I won’t get enough of serving.
I don’t know if I am on the right path anymore. Should I wait and have patience that I’ll get the schedule that suits my Christian life or should I shift job? I have too many questions, doubts and fears. I’m actually scared of drifting away from the church. I’m scared I’ll go back to being comfortable of being the unlikely Christian I once was. I’m scared that it’ll take too long before I would be able to go back to my weekend commitments. I’m scared that by the time it happens, I no longer care… I had already consumed all the fire, I had already let go of my Christian life. Still, I’ll hold on to God’s promise that no one and nothing can pluck me out of His hand.